Bringing Party Favors to Hell

Aha! Found a new word for my "words frequently mixed up in fanfic" list. It's not exactly a homophone but it's kind of a fake visual one. We need a fancy word for that. Pseudohomooptic? Aaaanyways, here it is:

Rouge =/= Rogue.
Rouge is an old-fashioned word for a cosmetic used to make the cheeks or lips red. Or a reddish powder, chiefly ferric oxide, used to polish metals or glass.
A Rogue is a scoundrel or a scamp. Or a vagabond. Or a vicious and solitary animal. Or an X-Man (X-Woman?). ;D

Still here- still boring. :)

Saw X-Men: First Class and Thor last weekend. Enjoyed XMFC way more than Thor, though Thor was still worth seeing. I loved Chris Hemsworth's Thor- he actually has great comic timing and it would be fun to see him in a romantic comedy. Where I had issues were the portrayal of Odin as a loving touchy-feely dad (SO not how Odin is shown in mythology), and in the convoluted confusing mess that they made of Loki's characterization and motivations. (And minorly, I will probably never be able to see Jaimie Alexander as anyone but Jessi from Kyle XY so her Sif didn't really work for me.) Heimdall really rocked, though.

XMFC was a delight. Despite some quibbles with the "divorce" and some continuity issues between the first X-Men films and this one, over all the movie just held together better for me and was far more enjoyable. And with McAvoy, Fassbender and Vaughn all apparently agreed on a homoerotic reading of Charles/Eric, my slasher's sensibilities were definitely pleased. Not to mention that as someone who lived through the 1960's (yes, I'm ANCIENT!) it was fun to see where they got it right in set and costume design (especially loved the oscilloscope as part of Cerebro! Every '60s sci-fi device worth its parts needed an oscilloscope!) and also the attitudes toward women. It's actually got me reading fanfic again for the first time in ages.

That said, I've found several new items for my semi-annual spelling and homophone rant! I have seen a lot of 'alot'* and 'alright' is not all right. Here are some of the new goodies:

Bare/Bear - You bare your soul, (or possibly your body). You bear a weight or a burden (or you see a bear in the park!) You can have bare skin, or a bear-skin. ;D

Feat/Feet - A feat is a noteworthy or extraordinary act or achievement, usually displaying boldness, skill, etc. Feet are those things at the bottom of legs which come into contact with the ground. Oh, and also a unit of measure.

Rein/Reign - Reins are the things by which a rider controls a horse. To Reign is to rule over. You don't reign in your passions, you rein them in. Oh, and it goes without saying (I hope) that rain is water that falls from the sky.

Wail/Wale/Whale -
*Wail: to utter a prolonged, inarticulate, mournful cry.
*Wale: 1.a streak, stripe, or ridge produced on the skin by the stroke of a rod or whip; welt. 2.the vertical rib in knit goods or a chain of loops running lengthwise in knit fabric 3. the texture or weave of a fabric.
*Whale: any of the larger marine mammals of the order Cetacea.

Whoa is not spelled woah unless you're deliberately using netspeak. (Courtesy of shayheyred)

I'll have to try to remember the other ones and update my list. :D

One other mild slash fanfic-related grumble-- can I just say how TIRED I am of the one-finger-two-fingers-three-fingers-cock thing? Seriously. It does not have to be done that way every single time!!

*And if, like me, alot bugs you a lot, check out this link which was just pointed out to me in a comment by melodyunity.

What is it with TV scheduling lately? Nothing is on in a consistent fashion any more. Shows start randomly at any time of year (for instance, Blood Ties which is starting this Sunday and of course conflicts with The Dresden Files), and there are gaps of weeks and sometimes months in a season (I'm looking at you Bones, Ghosthunters, Heroes, House, Jericho, and Stargate: Atlantis), and they change days and times randomly (too many to count!), and sometimes a particular episode will run 3 minutes past the hour and screw up the tape (Heroes last week), or consistently starts 3 minutes early (NCIS) so if you're watching something else before it, you invariably miss the teaser.

How the hell is anyone supposed to watch TV any more, unless they have a Tivo that automatically catches everything?

Whew. Okay. Got that out of my system.

Now, on to pleasanter things. ( 'House' spoilers behind the cut. )

ETA: For you David McCallum or Torchwood fans out there, here's a rec: jadesfire2808 has written a short, well-characterized Torchwood/Sapphire & Steel crossover. You can find it on her LJ here.

It's Monday? How did that happen already? Weekends are much too short. It seems like it has just started and bam! its already over. Saturday I drove kidunit, who wasn't feeling quite the thing, down to a con in South Denver which ate up the morning, then we had to rush back through Homecoming Football Traffic to meet ladyra (who has recently moved to the area) for lunch. We had a great time and will have to do that again sometime soon! Only we need to make sure there's not a football game scheduled to screw up traffic. Then I went home and took a two-margarita-inspired nap. :-) Yes, I am a cheap drunk. I spent the rest of the weekend reading the stack of Sue Henry mysteries I borrowed from bluster, in between helping kidunit work on costuming, and doing my laundry and some household stuff. It seems like I didn't do anything. I barely got online at all. So that was my thrilling weekend.

The weather this morning is chilly and rainy, very fall-like. Our yard is full of bright yellow leaves from our trees, and the raccoons are making a lot of noise as they raid our rapidly-withering apples, causing the cats to have conniptions. Despite the evening chill, our back-door neighbors are still having Really Loud Parties TM (as in, we can plainly hear them inside our house, even with all our windows and doors closed.) in their back yard until all hours on a regular basis. I'm sure I am developing a reputation as the neighborhood curmudgeon by screaming "SHUT UP!" at them when they're still out there partying at the top of their lungs at 1am. Am I wrong in thinking that it is courteous to one's neighbors to move one's party indoors, or at least try not to scream, after midnight?

In other news, I am fairly rare:

Went out to dinner this evening with kid-unit and housemate, to a local Italian restaurant we like a lot and eat at frequently. It's a nice place, pleasant atmoshpere, great food. Service was a little slow tonight because there was a huge wedding rehearsal dinner taking place in one part of the restaurant but that wasn't a big deal. Until the Birthday Party of Doom (hereafter TBPoD) arrived and were seated in the booth right behind ours. TBPoD was comprised of about 10 young women between the ages of 11 and 13. The parents of the birthday girl were seated at a different booth kitty-corner to TBPoD. We cut them some slack at first because we realized that TBPoD participants were excited and having fun, and exacerbating the problem was the fact that the section we were seated in has a low, stucco ceiling which reflects sound, but honestly, TBPoD was excruciatingly loud. To the point that it was physically painful. An elderly couple on the other side of us were clearly upset by the noise, and a family of five at a table near us kept openly staring at the TBPoD in amazement and dismay.

The waitress came out and refilled our water, wincing at the noise and quietly murmuring "sorry" as she did so. I kept trying to catch the eye of the birthday girl's mother, who was standing there talking to TBPoD and studiously ignoring my attempts. I finally raised my voice a little to ask if TBPoD could tone it down a bit. Mom continues to ignore me. TBPoD continue to shriek. Next thing we know, a spitball comes flying over the back of the booth and lands on the table, barely missing the housemate's water glass.

Kid-unit was incensed and stood up and reamed them out. I was pretty pissed off myself and asked the woman to put a leash on them. She continued to act like they were the only people in the restaurant, even though she could hardly have failed to notice that one of the kids she was supposedly chaperoning had just launched a spitball at us since she was standing there watching them at the time!

Right about then one of the busboys came by and asked us if we'd like to change tables. With great relief we agreed, and he gave us a table on the other side of the restaurant where we could finish our meal in peace, and both he and waitress and the manager all apologized profusely. The thing is, it wasn't their fault. It was the parents who were with the kids. And clearly they didn't give a damn. They never once indicated in any way that they thought TBPoD was out of line.

Amazing.

Ahem.

Making a pair of tights longer does not also magically render them wider. When I buy a pair of plus-sized tights, I do not want a pair which would fit someone who is seven feet tall and of average weight. I want a pair that fits someone of average height who is pleasingly plump. This should not be a difficult thing to grasp. I don't want to pay good money for a pair that somehow manages to be both saggy and binding.

Grrrrr.

Every time I start reading a lot of fanfic, especially unbetaed fanfic, I feel a rant coming on ...

Tense:

The past tense of "cast" is "cast," not "casted."

The past tense of "sink" is "sank," not "sunk." "Sunk" is an adjective describing a submerged object.

Spelling:

'A lot' is two words.

'All right' is two words

'Could have' (or could've) not 'could of' unless you are doing it deliberately in colloquial dialect.

Definite, not definate.

'Each other' is two words

Erection has only one 'r.'

Furniture not furnature.

It's stockings not 'stalkings.' Yes, I know there was a TV show called "Silk Stalkings" but it was a PUN, guys.

Truly has no 'e' in it.

Unfortunately has only two n's. (i.e., it's not 'unfortunantly.')

Whoa is not spelled woah unless you're deliberately using netspeak. (Courtesy of shayheyred)

For the seventy-bajillionth time, it is navel not 'naval' unless you are talking about military ships and not the site of the umbilical.

Other homophones (sound alikes) and lookalikes a writer should learn the difference between:

* Affect and Effect (affect = to influence, effect = several things but not the former.)
(a simple mnemonic to remember this: "Special effects affect us.")

* Bare and Bear (You bare your soul, or possibly your body, but you bear a weight or a burden. Alternately you may see a bear in the woods. You can have bare skin, or a bear-skin.)

* Break and Brake (you break a glass but you brake a car)

* Breath and Breathe (you take a breath, but you breathe air)

* Clothes and Cloths (clothes = garments, cloths = pieces of cloth)

* Complement and Compliment (complement = various, compliment = an expression of praise)

* Desert and Dessert. A desert (noun) is a wasteland, usually arid and uninhabited. In its verb form, it means 'to abandon or forsake.' A dessert, however, is something yummy to eat after a meal. On very rare occasions, you may run across 'deserts' pronounced the same as 'desserts' with the meaning of a reward or punishment which is deserved (as in: He got his just deserts.). Note: Desert (noun) and Dessert are not properly homophones, the two words do not SOUND alike but they LOOK enough alike to confuse people.

* Discreet and Discrete (discreet = with discretion, discrete = separate)

* Faze and Phase (faze = To disrupt the composure of; disconcert. phase = a bunch of different things but not 'to disconcert.')

* Humorous not Humerous. (Humorous = something funny {from the word 'humor.'}, Humerus = the long bone of the arm, and "Humerous" is not a word at all.)

* Lose and Loose (lose = lost, loose = not tight)
(also applies to Loser and Looser.)

* Peaked, Peeked and Piqued
(peaked = coming to a peak or point)(ETA4: "Peaked" can also mean "to be wan, fey, or ill.")
(peeked = peering furtively)
(piqued = a state of vexation, also, to provoke)

* Principal, Principle (the former means 'First, highest, or foremost in importance' and can also be related to money, the second 'basic truth, law, or standard of behavior.')(If you are talking about the head administrator of a k-12 school, it's *-pal* not *-ple*)

* Prostrate, prostate (the first means to lie on the ground, the second is the small gland much beloved by slash-writers)

* Rein, Reign (Reins are the things by which a rider controls a horse. To Reign is to rule over. You don't reign in your passions, you rein them in.)

* Shown and Shone (shown = displayed, shone = to give or reflect light, to excel, or to polish, among other things.)

* Speeches and Speaches (speeches = a form of communicating, speaches = nonexistent word.)

* Their, They're, and There
(their = Used as a modifier before a noun. ex: their home town.)
(they're = contraction of 'they are')
(there = can be used variously but not in place of either of the above.)

* Then and Than
(than = various but primarily used to introduce a second element or clause of an unequal comparison.)
(then = various, primarily time-related)

* Throws and Throes
(throws = the physical act of throwing something.)
(throes = 1. A severe pang or spasm of pain, as in childbirth; or 2. A condition of agonizing struggle or trouble: a country in the throes of economic collapse.)

You cannot be in the throws of passion. (Okay, unless you and your partner are into recreational nude karate or something), you are in the throes of passion.

* To, Too, & Two
(to = toward)
(too = in addition/also)
(two = the numeral 2)

* Viscous, Vicious (the first means thick and/or sticky, the second means evil, immoral, depraved, malicious, etc.) Note: This is not properly a homophone, the two words do not SOUND alike but they LOOK enough alike to confuse people.

* Wail/Wale/Whale -
(Wail: to utter a prolonged, inarticulate, mournful cry.)
(Wale: 1.a streak, stripe, or ridge produced on the skin by the stroke of a rod or whip; welt. 2.the vertical rib in knit goods or a chain of loops running lengthwise in knit fabric 3. the texture or weave of a fabric.)
(Whale: any of the larger marine mammals of the order Cetacea.)

* Your, You're (the first is possessive, and the second is a contraction of 'you are.')

Apostrophes, aka Plural 'S' vs. Possessive 'S':

When a word has an 's' on the end because it is plural, there should not be an apostrophe. i.e., "He has tons of money" should not be written "He has ton's of money."

An apostrophe should be used to indicate possession, i.e., "Jack's ship is called the Black Pearl." or to indicate a contraction: "They're all right."

If you have trouble remembering the rules for apostrophes, go print out a copy of the "Bob the Angry Flower" apostrophe use cartoon for yourself.

Whew.

Time to get out the marshmallows to toast over the flames...

ETA: I hate the use of the spelling 'cum' for come. But that's just me, I know it's in the dictionary. :-)

ETA2: Great quiz to test your ability to pick out homophones: http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-commonly-confused-words-test

So I'm happily reading this vaguely sci-fi-ish thriller by an author (male) whose work I've read and liked before, and come across this:

"Coffee sir?" An aide approaced David with a tray of mugs.

He gave the tiny-breasted girl the barest shake of his head.

Say WHAT? Since when is it okay to describe someone only by the size of their secondary sexual charcteristics? Not only that, but he infantilizes this person, clearly old enough to be a White House aide, as a 'girl.' Not a woman. Swear to Goddess, one of these days I am going to write a story where someone describes a minor male political flunky as "the tiny dicked boy."

I love slash fanfic, but sometimes reading it gives me a headache. So I'm going to gripe a little here. And it's all because Mercury is retrograde, I'm sure.

Erection only has ONE r.

Discreet and Discrete are two different words and have completely different meanings

Prostate and Prostrate are also two different words with completely different meanings.

And along those same lines, ditto with peaked, peeked and piqued.

It's not 'the cock' or 'the hand' or 'the mouth' it's his, or [insert slash-object's name here]'s. (Unless, of course, you are talking about a male chicken, or a dismembered body part...)

Their and there and they're are not all spelled the same way nor do they mean the same thing.

As I have said many times before, when you are talking about the site of the human umbilicus, it's navEL not navAL. Naval relates to ships, navel relates to bodies and oranges.

Now, for things spell-check WILL catch:

It's unfortunately not unfortunantly.

It's speeches not speaches.

It's poignant, not poignent.

Spell-check is our friend. Use it.

ardent_muses Warning! Bathroom talk ahead. :)

This is a really stupid question but it's bugging me because it seems to happen at least once a week. Why do people who are using a public restroom fail to lock their stall door, and then get pissed if you open it? The restrooms in my building are set up so you really can't see feet and the doors are always closed, so the only way to know if a stall is occupied is to push on the door. But half the time, someone will be inside and will have failed to lock the door. And invariably they act like you're some kind of pervert, when you were actually just another person needing to use the facilities. I don't get it. Why didn't they just lock the stall door to start with?

Okay, now that the important, earthshattering question has been put to the universe at large, here's the latest meme, gakked from rustler
( Read more... )

Pet peeves, that is...

It's NAVEL. Not "bellybutton" not "naval" (For those unclear with the concept of homonyms, the first refers to the spot where one's umbilical cord was attached-- providing one was not a Tank-- the other refers to things associated with the navy.)

I know this should not bother me. There are so many other things that should bother me more. But I've been in a marathon fanfic-reading session lately and you know, every single time I'm reading a story and the author, in mid-sex scene, refers to someone's navel as their 'bellybutton' it completely throws me out of the story and I'm suddenly wondering if it was written by a 12-year-old girl.

Aaagh.

Navel. Navel. Navel.

Navel.

*grinch*