What was the jerkish part that really put you off? I'm genuinely curious.

He's certainly a dick to the woman detective, but other factors point to him being not so much. He's reasonably friendly with his exes -- works with one of them, how insane is that?; lets his Mom live with him, obviously likes her, and it's mutual; has had custody of his daughter since she was very little (implied), she's a Very Good Daughter and they also like each other.

He has a bunch of friends, although they're male friends and thus they don't care about the same kinds of jerkishness that I might.*G*